silver anniversary
today is my parents 25th wedding anniversary dinner though it isn't actually until august 11.
a celebration of love.
celebrating fulfilling of vows taken 25 years ago.
its a long way to come especially with someone by your side, so many things to adjust to, to compromise, to change yourself for the better to make each other happy.
i want to be happy too.
i hate it when you do this to me.
whenever i'm happy and i start to feel life is great, you do EXACTLY the same thing each time. you'll send me a message saying you miss me. guess what. this time I DON'T CARE. i'm sick and tired of going back and forth, letting myself get hurt, giving in to your little whims and fancies. i used to be so affected that i couldn't stay happy whenever you did that. i'ld become depressed and moody, and my good mood would totally evaporate. you have a knack for doing that. but right now, i feel so free. i'm so happy with my life. i'm just so angry you still dare to say this kind of things to me. i'm moving on with my life, being satisfied with myself, my family, my friends, MY LIFE. its my life and i say when. i pull the strings. not you. not anymore.
life alone.. its not so bad once i've gotten used to having you out of my life. it gives me the freedom to do whatever i like, go out with whoever i choose, stay out til however late i desire. i don't feel guilty about anything i do, like i used to. i'm now back to being me. just me. not me making sacrifices and compromises that hurt or upset me for you. i thought life was over when you said you didn't want to be with me anymore. in fact, life was just beginning. cliched as that may sound. i learnt from being with you, at the very least, that i should never give up my friends for a relationship, and i should never sacrifice the relationship i have with my family.
life with me is good. i'm happy. and that's what matters.
