loneliness
Loneliness.. It's pretty underrated.. People say we're loneliest in a crowd. I say it's true. When you look around, and everyone seems to know each other, everyone seems to be friends, you feel so out of place, like you don't belong, and it gets so cold and so lonely.. I do enjoy having my alone-time, but I hate feeling lonely. Does that sound contradictory? Well, I'ld say it's two very different things..
I love my friends. But I feel like I'm subconsciously cutting them out of my life. Sometimes I try to make an effort. Most of the time I just forget, or I'm too lazy. Can you imagine? Too lazy? I've really got to try harder.. I think this would be a good new year's resolution, to keep in touch with the friends that I used to be close to.. It's funny how easy it is to just leave them out of everything I've done.. 'Forget' to reply their SMSes. 'Forget' to return their calls. It's funny how natural it feels.
My grandma still keeps in contact with her friends from primary school. I can barely recognise mine. If this goes on, soon I'll forget everyone, and I'll be all alone. And I don't want to be all alone. Loneliness is underrated. Sometimes people try to console themselves by saying they like to be alone. But no one really likes it all the time.. No one enjoys feeling lonely, feeling left out of anything. People like to belong. Everyone just wants to be happy somehow.
Friends.. they're easy to make, easy to lose, hard to get to know, and even harder to get back once they're lost.. It's time for a conscious effort on my part.
